Reminder: None of Us Know How to Live in a Pandemic
I feel a lot of pressure during this time. Pre-coronavirus, this Spring, we had three weekend trips planned to visit family in three different states. I had just started my clothing reselling business on Ebay and had begun to get my first few sales, so I was going to different thrift stores every other day to purchase new inventory. I have TMJD and I was searching for a specialist to help me with that. I had a plan for how I was going to spend my time. I was actually feeling more of a sense of direction than I had in quite a while. Then COVID-19 happened and turned all my plans and emotions upside down. Like it did for all of us.
Suddenly, I have to stay home all the time. I’m spending lots of energy worrying about my family, especially my brother, who is a resident doctor in a major hospital system. I’m looking at the news way more than usual trying to make sense of it all. After the initial shock subsided, then the internal pressure started to set in. “How do I make the most of this extra time at home?” “I should organize the house from top to bottom.” “I should work out a ton and lose weight.” “I should learn how to bake a ton of new things.” (Trust me, I see the irony there!) “I should start a blog.” “I should pick up 5 new hobbies.” “I should start a YouTube channel.” “I should work on my dog’s leash-walking skills.” “I should keep the house sparkling clean at all times.”
I did start a blog (hi!). I have organized a few parts of the house…ish. I have baked some new things (which I’m writing posts about for the blog!). But so far I haven’t done everything I’ve wanted to. Some days I feel productive and do multiple things on my to-do list. Other days I have moments where I feel depressed and don’t do hardly anything. On all days I feel pressure to do more. My sleep schedule is extremely messed up right now. It’s hard to get into a routine when the days blur together and you don’t know exactly what you’re working towards because you don’t know what the future looks like anymore. And in those moments, when I’m feeling the pressure to do more and be everything at all times, I’ve been reminding myself this:
None of us know how to live during a pandemic. It’s true. Even those really old people you read about in articles who miraculously survived both the Spanish Flu of 1918 and COVID-19 don’t know how to live in a pandemic because they were just little babies during the Spanish Flu. This is a new experience for all of us and whether someone shows it or not, we’re all trying to figure this out one day at a time. This is a pandemic, not a productivity challenge. This is a pandemic, not a meditation retreat. This situation is unprecedented. If there was some kind of guidebook for what we should do during this time, I think the main thing it would say is to follow the social distancing guidelines that our communities have put into place. If you’re social distancing right now to the best of your ability, then you’re already doing a great job and an incredibly important thing. It’s hard because we can’t really see the impact that our social distancing efforts are making. But do some reading on social distancing and you’ll be reminded of how important it is. Social distancing is saving countless lives right now. So when we’re feeling directionless or down, we need to remember that by social distancing, we ARE making an impact, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
We’re all in different situations and places in life. Which means this crisis will look different for everyone. Some of us might have the emotional and physical bandwidth to get a lot done right now. For others, doing our best means we’re surviving but don’t have the energy to do much else other than survive. Some of us fall somewhere in the middle. All of those situations are valid.
However you’re feeling at this moment, just remember--all of us are winging it. We need to give ourselves and others grace. Otherwise, we will be walking around frustrated all the time and that makes this already tough situation even more difficult.
This is a new situation for all of us and we are all impacted by it in some way. We truly are in this together. One day at a time, we will get through this.
-Emily